ilashdesigns

Women and Food – It CAN be sexual without whipped cream!

Posted on: 06/13/2009

Below is a portion of some feelings I shared with someone I met on the internet, pretty recently.  She has quickly become a friend, and I appreciate her gifts, talents and power with words.  I feel blessed to have made this new connection…she has comforted me in ways I have struggled with for years..how cool is that? Rock on!  Way Cool is what I’m saying!

This is me trying to share some of myself with her and comfort her, and my way of trying to make her smile. Maybe you will too!

Well, gawd girlfriend….I’m sorry about your eating the old cheese! I hate that kinda stuff too..I hope it doesn’t get you sick! But I have to admit, old food happens in my house too. Gawd when we moved my husband’s  mom here, I cleaned out her kitchen..and you talk about old food! Then I worked at a low income apartment place here in Montana mostly for retired folks..and girl?…there is A LOT of OLD FOOD in this world!  I have more in my house now, because my kids aren’t here to eat it all up, and well, I guess I haven’t thrown it away!  AND the older I get the less interested in food and cooking I am..just another of my isms. Cooking and food are a pain in the neck to me period. Maybe some is because:::  I I resent the expectation surrounding food and my family a lot! I finally came to this conclusion: I have the oldest vagina, so food and all that is about food is only my resposiblity and my obligation. What the hell? REALLY?!   yup really! ok…and that is the way it is here.

Then there’s the old family joke:   is this fb food? I used to come  unglued at that question..from kids..who had left home..been gone from home for 4-5 months or WHATEVER..then come back..to pick thru my freezers and try to find something to eat at 3 a.m…or whenever!..EWWW  mom is this fb food?    freezer burned..well cuz a LOT of it is I suppose.

But yeah..food is a huge issue, in so many ways. So grabbing something quick? most quick things are junk..cuz we are weak and usually in some kind of hurry!  We are hungry and have old vaginas..what do folks expect?!!!  I have always been a little overweight…and even when I wasn’t I thought I was..because of the way my body shape was.  When I was teenish..I carried all my weight in my butt and thighs..you know that joke about serving drinks from that ass? Well someone came up with that joke, after they saw my ass! Then I had children..well that moves everything around! I had new problems after that! Then I tried the Norplant for a few years..(both a friend and I did it together)..she ended up having a hysterectomy years later and blamed that norplant for starting all her problems…I don’t know. But we both put on 50 pounds in the first 6 months of having those! And I’ve never been able to lose that weight..still carrying it around. I used to joke…its a great birth control..because now nobody would even WANT to shag you..lol..one of those edgy jokes, part funny, part true!   When I finally got it removed the doctor told me women were getting them out because of the weight gain…I was shocked and pissed off! C’mon you know why…I had already long convinced myself that the weight gain was all my fault from too many nachos late at night!

Food and women is so complex. I remember going thru times of trying to learn what my emotions where that were between my mouth and my stomach. If you can quiet yourself enough and really focus..they are there. (but it requires sooo MUCH energy and focus and where does that strength come from?) And are there healthy substitutes? Of course there is. But we are creatures of habit and are weak. My husband likes to remind me of how weak we are as human beings a lot…and that does help me to understand myself better..sometimes. He is right, and I know I tend to forget that. We are strong, over achieving, competent, determined women, who can multi task until the sun goes down, swim the English Channel, come home, move furniture, breast feed, balance the checkbook, get our old vaginas out and cook for the family, smile, finally sleep (never enough)..then get up and do it all over again tomorrow! We are not weak! ha There’s no crying in baseball mentality. We are the worst on ourselves for that! I dieted when I was younger..I don’t have the will so much anymore.  Instead of “restriction” I do better to stay positive and make positive food choices, then give myself quick kudos for that..but then MOVE ON.  I can’t stay there and celebrate or it set’s myself up for staying there and sulking when I make non healthy food choices.  And really, who needs that? If I make a non healthy food choice, I have to decide not to dwell, but MOVE ON.  Another thing I did that I think helps me is to increase my grains.  I try to get as close to whole grain as I can, (when I get on my grain wagon) but mostly it’s 1/2 way processed usually.   But grains helped me to identify more with if I felt satified or hungry.  It makes a different kind of impact in your stomach, and lasts longer in your whole GI tract, helping me feel satisfied longer.  And all the health benefits from grains is enough to fill two heads!  I have a very decent granola recipe I found once when I was looking for how to add heat to my compost pile..haha and I’m not kidding.  It’s on the package of wheat bran I buy.  Someday I can post it, if anyone is hot to try it shoot me a message, and I can post it direct.  This granola, changed my entire lower GI tract.  I am finding the older I get the less able my body is to processing dairy, specifically milk.  This might not be a problem for people who don’t drink milk, but I love milk! I always have! I don’t drink as much now as I used to, but I still lvoe it as much! Specifically factory processed milk.  If I could drink milk straight from the cow I would be fine (been there done that).  But not only the pasturization but the 100 times they filter it..takes all the good cultures out of milk that my GI track needs to stay healthy.  Now they want you to buy the fancy  yogurt for this purpose.  I don’t think they’ve done anything to add to the yogurt, they just haven’t taken anything out.  I’ll get all into this granola and yogurt thing someday, cut and paste this into it’s own folder and include the recipe.  But if you have a looser bowel, and need some regulation, this did it for me.  I ate this for some months, and my body has never gone back to the intollerant way that it was before.  I know..how can this be? But it’s true! Now I eat it when I “need” too, and should eat it more often, simply for all the benefits!

Your focus can be as diverse as you want it to be. Now, I like to think about diet in a graph form. It’s not so much about today, but what goes on over time..4 weeks? 6 weeks?…that graph is the one that’s in my mind about food and health. And the only way I can even think about 4 – 6 weeks..is to break that down into 1 – 2 week goals. That’s long enough..if I can manage to attain my goals over 1-2 weeks…and can THEN manage to continue on to the next 1-2 weeks..well then I can feel progress and maybe some renewed energy to continue on for another 1-2 weeks. My feelings do improve and do build and give me some strength…if I can remain focused on that. That takes HUGE MENTAL ENERGY! Makes me tired just thinking about it!
Taking the time to pause and try to truly identify when we honestly feel hungry is key. And then changing our relationship with that feeling…we are not geared to ignore hunger. I’m not saying we need to ignore hunger, what you do with it, is up to you! But change is required.  Then if we can truly find that feeling…how do we handle it? I usually over eat! But I do remember the days of dieting..when I would make myself pause, make a healthy food choice, and then taking the time to NOTICE when I was satisfied and appreciate that feeling..and then I had to work hard on really, REALLY getting comfy with THAT feeling. That is very hard as well! Identifying that feeling is also key. We don’t take the time..because well, someone needs us to balance our checkbook or get our old vagina out..and we get too busy again! Our needs are always last. That’s what you get for having a vagina! lol Food issues!
ok kiddo..I’ve blabbered on long enough. We are lovable..we are entirely lovable, from our chubby toes to our puffy faces, to our old vaginas to our dirty fingernails, just as we are today!   We have to love ourselves..in all our weaknesses and strengths. Don’t forget to embrace you whole self, just as you are now. Change? Of course you can do it…if not? Well, could you really LOVE yourself more than you do now? Probably not. Our old vaginas make us the most lovable and loving human beings on the planet. We know!
chow for now! I love ya kid!
🙂 Ny.

*note to self – possible next topic: Laundry and Old Penis’s?

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